NARRATIVE P.O.V.
The book was written in first person through Michael. First person means that there is a character explaining what’s happening around him and only you know what the character knows. The words commonly used in first person are: I, me, we, us etc.
The reason that I have stated that it is first person the book starts of with ‘I found him in the garage on a Sunday afternoon.’ In this quote, he has already stated the something has happened to him and he uses the word ‘I’. Other than the blurb, I know it is from Michaels perspective because in chapter 3, the mum brings Michael a coke and sandwich and says ‘You understand, though. Don’t you, Michael? Don’t you?’.
HOW POINT OF VIEW HAS AN EFFECT
This is a passage I have written in another perspective: third person. This is on chapter 30.
ORIGINAL
‘I didn’t stop. I found that I was smiling, that Skellig and Mina were smiling too. My heart raced and thundered and then it settled to a rolling rhythm. I felt Skelling’s and Mina’s hearts beating along with my own. I felt their breath in rhythm with mine. It was like we had moved into each other, as if we had become one thing.’
THIRD PERSON
They all were floating as If they were one of Skelligs feathers, soft and gentle. They were all smiling: Michael with his genuine smile, Mina with her brilliant one and Skellig with his rotten teeth but overall, they all look beautiful. They could all feel each others heartbeat drumming through them and felt each others breath in the same rhythm. They felt and looked as though they were one exquisite thing.
RATIONALE
There are several things that I have changed to create a new perspective and overall different atmosphere. The things that I have changed or added are:
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Pronouns: I used 3rd person pronouns
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More adjectives
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More description
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How personal it was
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The tone of It
The reason why I made these changes is to emphasise that the original passage has a childlike tone and how it is clearly written and seen through the eyes of a child. I obviously changed the point of view to third person so I could have the flexibility to change and add as much as I wanted. When you are writing in first person, you are restricted to the knowledge and language your character would use. This creates a personal sort of feel to first person. I added more description to emphasise that the other passage (the original) and little description. I used more descriptive adjectives to show that Michel used little to no adjectives. All of these factors made my passage sound very formal and making Michaels sound like a child.
Overall, even though it had little description, the original passage feels more personal and feels like you are experiencing what Michael is experiencing. Whilst for my passage: it had a lot of description but it felt more as if you were experiencing it. It all felt less inclusive for you know everything, not just what the main character knows.
The reason why I did my passage in a different way then way the original passage was written was because to emphasises that the childish tone and first person point of view and how the first person point of view help create the childlike tone by letting the reader experience what a child is experiencing.